My brain does not understand logic.

Me: “if I binge on this food now I won’t be tempted to binge on it later because it’ll be gone.”

Me: “If I spend all of my money on things I don’t need now, I won’t have to worry about spending it all later because it’ll be gone”

etc…

I know I do this and I know it’s complete nonsense but I guess I’m a fan of instant gratification.

Ooops.

[Content warning for ED stuff… Like always.]

I made the mistake of telling my aunt what I actually weigh yesterday, and now she’s all worried. Ooops.

Now she’s on my case about my not eating enough, I need to eat more, I need to get a job so I’m moving around more so I can get bone and muscle weight back. (Of course that’s assuming I would also eat enough to gain while moving around all day I’m not sure about that one ooops.)

Augh.

First of all I’m eating just fine. Sure, the prozac kills my appetite but I’ve still been forcing down three meals a day and snacks and crap. Nevermind that nobody gives a fuck how hard that is for me. I need to eat more. :I

Second, none of my doctors wanted me to gain at this weight. They just wanted to keep me from losing more. So there.

And third if I could find a fucking job I’d have one by now. But thanks for that.

I know she’s just being concerned but it’s frustrating. Everyone treats me like I’m relapsing hardcore because I lost a little weight and I’m like… I ate ice cream in front of everyone yesterday without thinking twice. And I’m being accused of relapse? Yeah ok so I slipped a little during my depression but I’m fine so chill.